Headlines
by Alex Todorovic
More then fifty years after soviet canines were haphazardly blasted into space in the mid-20th century; a group of pups that crash landed on the moons of Jupiter have been observed through the Hubble telescope thriving in space.
One of the dogs, named Astro-Belle, was caught on camera. The dogs very much resemble Earth dogs yet have adapted to the harsh weather of the Jupiter moon. Scientists speculate that the dogs are able to breathe in space because of the fuzzy pipe cleaner antennas seen sprouting from their heads.
Scientists are curious about what the survival of these cosmonaut dogs could mean for mans ability to colonize new worlds. Renowned astronomer Dr. Pepsi and his colleague Diet Dr. Pepsi are brimming with excitement, stating “while dogs and humans require different neccessities for survival, carbon life forms existing in deep space is one of the first breakthroughs to distinguish the new millenium from the 1990′s. Up until now the only thing we’ve been able to do to distinguish the twentieth and the twenty-first century is ban smoking, at least this find has some substance.”
Pictured here is Astro-Belle the first space dog photographed in a close shot. In the backround an N64 can be seen, which explains why the dogs haven’t been too bored for the past fifty years. Analysts say they must have a few games with a lot of replay value like Mario Kart or Ocarina of Time.
From at home and abroad, this is Network News Headlines.
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